I'm back, y'all! And kinda sick, which means I get to lay in bed & watch trailers. First up, oh look, it's my cinematic doppelgänger, Ellen Page. You don't do horror movies, darlin'. Ah, it's a big-budget Hollywood remake. I see.
This looks pretty stinkaroo to me. And not scary! Blah. How about instead we take Kevin Bacon out of all his scenes through the magic of technology & replace him with Ellen Page? Actually, I like Diego Luna, too. Let's swap Julia Roberts out for him.
Opens September 29, 2017
Next up, a new one from Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water. Just a head's up - this one seems to reveal an awful lot about the plot.
Man, Sally Hawkins & Michael Shannon are in everything this year. Can't complain, since they're both great, as is the rest of the cast. I especially love Richard Jenkins. And we know it's going to be pretty, considering who made it. The story just seems a little hackneyed & unoriginal to me. Unless the trailer is purposely misleading...
Opens December 8, 2017
I can comfortably say I was not clamoring for an origin movie about Leatherface, but here we are. At least this one has some talent behind it - the directing duo Julien Maury & Alexandre Bustillo, who brought us the ultra gory french slasher Inside (À l’intérieur, if you're fancy).
You know something? These guys just might be the perfect successors to Tobe Hooper. The violence in Inside evokes a similar kind of visceral shock that makes the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre an enduring classic. As a bonus, there are some subtle winks to the original to be found here, mostly in the sound design. Looks promising enough to make me forgive the presence of Stephen Dorff.
Opens October 20, 2017
Last one for the day is The Ritual, based on the 2011 novel by Adam Nevill, & directed by David Bruckner (V/H/S, The Signal, Southbound).
I'm all over this one. Love David Bruckner, love creepy pagan stuff out in the woods, & I've heard lots of good stuff about the book. Sign me up!
Opens in UK October 13, 2017. No US release date yet.