Horror movie reviews artfully conducted by four classy broads and one token dude.

The Bloodlust 11/4/15 The Bloodlust 11/4/15

Recap - American Horror Story: Hotel (Ep. 4)

American Horror Story: Hotel, Season 5, Episode 4

Title: "Devil's Night"

Aired: 10/28/2015

Synopsis: Wow! Where do I even start with this episode? So the “Halloween Week” episodes of American Horror Story have traditionally been pretty Halloweeny, so to speak, as well as a bit more action-packed than the rest of the season’s episodes (with the exception of Asylum, whose Halloween episode was uncharacteristically lackluster); In Murder House, we got a two-parter where the dead come above ground to walk amongst the living; Coven gave us zombies and Voodoo; Freak Show introduced us to Edward Mordrake (another two-parter); and finally, with Hotel, we get the aptly titled Devil’s Night, which introduces us to a handful of new, unsavory characters.

In this episode, Detective Lowe reneges on his vow of sobriety by starting off the night with a few martinis, which he enjoys while in the company of one Miss Aileen Wuornos. After an unsuccessful attempt at purchasing some sexy time with the infamous femme fatale, Detective Lowe is invited to the dinner party to end all dinner parties, hosted by Mr. March. The guests at this dinner party are really a colorful bunch with one very specific pastime in common, and Detective Lowe soon finds himself in a rather uncomfortable position.

The Bloodlust 10/25/15 The Bloodlust 10/25/15

Recap - American Horror Story: Hotel (Ep. 3)

American Horror Story: Hotel, Season 5, Episode 3
Title: "Mommy"
Aired: 10/21/2015

Synopsis: Detective John deals with his growing marital issues while we learn more about Alex's past and how she feels about the disappearance of Holden. Donovan is picked up by a rival of The Countess' (hint...it's Angela Bassett!). The Countess and Tristan are playing sexy vampire games with Will Drake. We also learn about how The Countess lost all her money. Last, but certainly not least, Tristan seeks out Mr. March to discuss their favorite topic...murder!

The Bloodlust 10/21/15 The Bloodlust 10/21/15

Recap - American Horror Story: Hotel (Ep. 2)

American Horror Story: Hotel, Season 5, Episode 2
Title: "Chutes and Ladders"
Aired: 10/14/2015

Synopsis: Craziness continues at the Hotel Cortez. The hotel's new owner, Will Drake, is throwing a fashion show for all of his fancy, fashionable friends (including Naomi Campbell). We're introduced to the bad-boy of the fashion show, Tristan Duffy (Finn Wittrock), and later find out that The Countess has taken a liking to him. We also learn more about the hotel's history, starting with the wealthy man who built it, Mr. James March (Evan Peters). Last but not least, there's Detective Lowe, who is trying to cope with the bomb his daughter just dropped on him.

The Bloodlust 10/14/15 The Bloodlust 10/14/15

Recap - American Horror Story: Hotel (Ep. 1)

American Horror Story: Hotel, Season 5, Episode 1
Title: "Checking In"
Aired: 10/7/2015

Synopsis: In this premiere, we meet quite a few of the characters who occupy the Hotel Cortez; Iris (Kathy Bates), Hypodermic Sally (Sara Paulson), Det. John Lowe (Wes Bentley), (Donovan) Matt Bomer, Dr. Alex Lowe (Chloë Sevingny), Liz Taylor (Denis O'Hare), Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson), The Countess (Lady Gaga), and Gabriel (Max Greenfield).

The Hotel Cortez seems to be a place where people come to stay...forever! Kidding aside, that's one of the main pieces of info we learn in this episode. The other is that Det. Lowe has been working a grisly case involving a very creative serial killer. He's checking into the Cortez because his son has been kidnapped (presumably by the serial killer) and his wife, Alex, can't be in the same house as him on account of him looking so much like their missing son.

This first episode is definitely a setup for what could potentially be a pretty awesome season. Here's hoping they don't blow it.

The Bloodlust 2/1/15 The Bloodlust 2/1/15

13 | AHS: Freak Show (Ep. 13)

Watch the grand finale with us! It'll be like we're right in your living room with you. Or wherever you watch TV. Hopefully not on the toilet, or somewhere gross like that.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 13
Title: "Curtain Call"
Aired: 01/21/2015

Synopsis: Dandy is trying to get everyone ready for the show - the show that Dandy now owns. However, when Paul tells him that not one ticket has been sold, we are blessed with a Dandy fit. He insults the acts, telling them they're terrible and they turn around and punch him (Amazon Eve), tell him that he'll never be one of them, and then they all quit. Elsa is out in Hollywood trying to make it but is finding it much harder than she'd thought. Dandy takes out almost all of the show players and kidnaps the twins so they can finally be together - but they have other plans. How will it end for the Freak Show folk?!

The Bloodlust 1/25/15 The Bloodlust 1/25/15

12 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 11 & 12)

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 11
Title: "Magical Thinking"
Aired: 01/07/2015

Synopsis: After poor Dot's heart is broken by Jimmy Darling, the twins decide they are better off on their own and they decide to find another "special guy" to take their virginity. They don't have to look far - we have a new character...meet Chester the traveling salesman, magician, and skilled ventriloquist. Elsa realizes that Chester is "good with numbers" so she decides to sell the show to him for $1,000! Dandy learns that Chester and the twins are now lovers so of course he pays Chester a friendly visit. We learn what actually happened when Jimmy made the deal to sell his hands - it is not a nice as I had hoped (what was I thinking?!). Maggie and Desiree return from their gals trip up north and Desiree confronts Dell, who is forced to pay the consequences for what he did to Ma Petite.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 12
Title: "Show Stoppers"
Aired: 01/14/2015

Synopsis: Elsa's farewell party takes an unfortunate turn when it's revealed that Chester will take over as owner of the freak show. Stanley finally pays the price for his role in all the freak murders (it's about GD time!). Elsa pays a visit to Jimmy and informs him of Dell's death (way to kick a guy when he's down). She also lets him know that a friend of hers will lend him a hand (eh? eh?) with getting out of his current predicament. Maggie volunteers to be Chester's assistant but bites off a little more than she can chew. Ever trying to eff things up for any potential suitors of the twins', Dandy shows them what his detective has discovered about Chester. They freak out and run away.

The Bloodlust 1/5/15 The Bloodlust 1/5/15

10 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 9 & 10)

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 9
Title: "Tupperware Party Massacre"
Aired: 12/10/2014

Synopsis: Still distraught over the loss of his mother (and Ma Petite), Jimmy Darling sinks into a drunken depression, which causes him to do things he'd normally not do - and we'd really rather not see. Dandy is up to his usual hijinks and is getting much more comfortable with murder. Bette and Dot are finally at the point (or so they think) where they have to decide whether or not to actually go through with the separation surgery. Much like the last episode, this one doesn't hold back on the blood and murder.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 10
Title: "Orphans"
Aired: 12/17/2014

Synopsis: This episode gives us the rather heartbreaking backstory for pepper, which takes us from the freak show tent to Briarcliff Manor. That's right, they've finally made the official connection to AHS: Asylum (arguably the best season of the entire series). Pepper's husband dies in his sleep (suspicious) and Stanley is all too quick to take advantage. Finally, poor Jimmy, arrested for Dandy's crimes in the last episode, is forced to part with two very important things in exchange for top legal counsel.

The Bloodlust 12/14/14 The Bloodlust 12/14/14

8 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 7 & 8)

American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Test of Strength"

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 7
Title: "Test of Strength"
Aired: 11/19/2014

Synopsis: Daddy issues seem to be prominent in this episode. Following yet another act of violence, the ladies of Elsa's freak show join forces to stand up against Dell. Jimmy Lobsterclaws realizes that Dandy may not have the best of intentions when it comes to Bette and Dot and tries to urge the twins to leave. Yet another murder plot from the ever-persistent Stanley. However, we finally see him follow through on this one. Penny's Dad does something for his daughter that will change her life forever. A "big" character finally gets killed off - no more Stanley fantasies.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Bloodbath"

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 8
Title: "Bloodbath"
Aired: 12/3/2014

Synopsis: Recent violent episodes around camp and the discovery of a dead freak raise Ethel's suspicion of Elsa. Stanley and Elsa team up for a rather grisly project. Gloria makes a last ditch effort to control dear ol' Dandy's bloodlust. There is no shortage of death in this episode. No shortage of overacting, either.

Buzzfeed's "14 Reasons You Have a Crush on Dandy"

Buzzfeed's "How Finn Wittrock Became One of the Year's Most Talked About New Stars"

The Bloodlust 11/30/14 The Bloodlust 11/30/14

6 | AHS: Freak Show (Eps 5 & 6)

American Horror Story: Freak Show, "Pink Cupcakes"

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 5
Title: "Pink Cupcakes"
Aired: 11/5/2014

Synopsis: Stanley and Maggie hatch multiple plans to take out some of the freaks - Stanley is pretty obsessed with getting an exhibit into the Mutter Museum...
Gloria continues to enable her dear little manchild, Dandy, by covering up his latest murder. A sexy encounter with Jimmy Lobsterclaws ends with a trip to the doctor where Desiree learns that she may not be the "freak" she grew up thinking she was.

American Horror Story: Freak Show, Season 4, Episode 6
Title: "Bullseye"
Aired: 11/12/2014

Synopsis: Elsa begins preparations to unveil her dangerous new act, the Spinning Wheel of Death. Stanley and Maggie continue to hatch murderous plots against the freaks, with Maggie becoming more and more reluctant to participate. We not only discover Paul and Elsa are secret nighttime lovers but we also learn that Paul has been sharing his secret circus tricks with another lady.

In our next episode, we'll be discussing the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (in honor of its 40th Anniversary Blu Ray release) and comparing it to the 2003 remake with Jessica Biel.
So, in case you've been living under a rock for the past 40 years (or your name is Karen) and haven't seen the original TCSM, check out the trailer and give it a watch.