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Top Ten NoSleep Podcast Stories (Seasons 7-10)

By popular demand, here's your all new list of the best NoSleep had to offer in seasons 7-10. If you're looking for the best of the early years of the show, check out our definitive list here.


Wallmart

Season 8, Episode 22    

A mundane trip to the eponymous store turns into a surreal nightmare in this brief but effective tale. Some of the most terrifying stories (to me, anyway) take place in an ordinary world that suddenly becomes strange & unfamiliar in small ways. Addison Peacock, a new addition to the NoSleep cast in these later seasons, shows here why she's quickly become one of the show's best narrators, & stalwart composer Brandon Boone's score lends an extra layer of eerie to the proceedings. 


Down in the Library Basement

Season 7, Episode 22     

This one typifies the type of creative storytelling that gives NoSleep its staying power. The show has always known that horror fiction encompasses a huge variety of styles & feels. It's not all morbid, dark & bloody; horror can be funny or heartwarming too, & "Library Basement" is both. The first part of the story originally appeared as a season pass offering; proof that the show runners don't just fill their paid content with fluff.


500 Yards

Season 10, Episode 18    

This tale of a group of track stars forced to run for their lives from a snarky monster is easily one of the most immediate & intense stories the show has ever aired. Erin Lillis is clearly having a blast as said snarky monster.


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Dogs in the Drywall

Season 10, Episode 9     

Here we have another everyday horrible scenario turning into actual horror. This story of an office drone pursued through his cubicle farm by monsters only he can see is a chilling & often awkward depiction of what a psychotic break might look like from the perspective of the one having the breakdown.


A Seaside British Pub

Season 7, Episode 5    

Quick, who's your favorite female NoSleep narrator? Is it: a) Erika Sanderson, b) Erika Sanderson or c) Erika Sanderson? Yeah, she slays every role, every time, but this one might be her best. No surprise there, when one of the show's very best authors, C.M. Scandreth, is providing the words. The strange denizens of the titular pub exist in a fully fleshed-out world, each with their own fun backstory. For extra credit, check out the season 10 finale, which revisits the pub.


The Forest of a Thousand Legs

Season 9, Episode 7 

You should've known you weren't getting out of this list without a spider story, & this one's a doozy. Not only will it make you itch for days, "Forest" is also filled with warmth & relatable details, not to mention a hell of a surprise.


The Slog

Season 7, Episode 9     

From time to time NoSleep likes to tweak its usual pattern of introduction then story by integrating a creepy tale into David Cummings's introduction. Sometimes it doesn't work, but in the case of "The Slog," it works very well. This surreal story of a man growing old & dying while stuck in traffic pretty much describes my own personal version of hell. It's also a clever cautionary tale about not putting things off "til you get there."


What Happens When the Stars Go Out

Season 10, Valentine's Day Bonus    

Let me preface this by assuring you that I have very little patience for sappy, lovey dovey horseshit, so when a Valentine's Day special popped up on my NoSleep feed I was skeptical at best. Despite starting off with a pretty cornball meet cute, the relationship drama at the center of the story ends up ringing true. Surprisingly, we're even treated to some genuine wisdom about love & loss. Color me impressed. Mick Wingert, who has been an invaluable addition to the cast, gives his best performance thus far.


The House in the Field

October Opening (Between Seasons 7 & 8)

What would you do if a full-sized house suddenly appeared in your yard? Shit your pants then call the police, right? Sure, but what if you're 7 years old, & none of the adults can see the house? That's the premise of this tale, which has the distinction of being the only story in NoSleep's run to have given me actual goosebumps. Somebody turn this into a short film, STAT.


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Best Finale Episode:

(tie) Borrasca & My Dad Finally Told Me What Happened that Day

Season 7, Episode 25 & Season 8, Episode 25

Yes, "Borrasca" is an epic story with an all-star cast. Yes, it's basically an audio feature-length film. And yes, it is a must-listen for fans of audio horror fiction. But allow me to plead the case for my preferred finale of these later seasons, "My Dad Finally Told Me What Happened that Day." First off, this might just be a personal preference, but I like my horror to come with some loose ends. How often in life are we privy to the entire story? How often are the motivations of others fully revealed to us? That our narrator is left with so many unanswered questions makes "My Dad" all the more realistic & chilling. And second, it's nice to hear a story as far into the show's run as season 8 that is this faithful to the subreddit’s original premise - a first-person account of unexplained, unsettling events. Amy says try em both!


There you have it, folks - the very best of seasons 7-10. According to moi, anyway. What did I miss? Let me know in the comments. Or, y'know, just yell at me for not including "Feed the Pig."

(Credits for all the neat original artwork seen here can be found by clicking on the respective episode link)

Best Horror of 2017 | Amy's Picks

It can't be overstated that 2017 was a huge year for horror movies. We had the biggest movie of the year in IT & artistic credibility & social relevance with Get Out. Of course, this has meant zillions of silly think pieces from news outlets about how horror has suddenly become this valuable reflection of society's fears again, as if this hasn't been the case with good horror all along. But on the positive side, it means more backing, for horror blockbusters & indies alike. Which means 2018 will probably be an even better year for horror than 2017 was. So we got that going for us, which is nice. Anyway, here's my list...


10 | The Void

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Weird Lovecraftian death cults, man.  I love em.  The Void had by far the best special effects this year, & was the most viscerally thrilling film I saw.  It shared a lot in common with one of my picks from previous years, Baskin, but was lacking some of what made Baskin special.  Namely, the the non-linear timeline.

You can listen to our episode on it here.


9 | The Killing of a Sacred Deer

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It's about time Yorgos Lanthimos made a horror film. His movies are always uncomfortable, regardless of the genre. Might as well lean into it. This thriller in the vein of Michael Haneke's Cache uses that trademark Lanthimos skeevy awkwardness to full effect. Plus, the performances are great. Especially Barry Keoghan. Man, what a creepy role. 


8 | Killing Ground

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There hasn't been a really interesting "killers in the woods" movie since 2012's Black Rock, so I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. Not so surprisingly, it's another Australian film. Killing Ground's fractured timeline set it apart, as does the unexpected but refreshing final act.

You can listen to our episode on it here


7 | The Girl with All the Gifts

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The bar is set awfully high for zombie movies nowadays. I know plenty of people who refuse to watch another zombie movie regardless of how far afield that take on the mythology promises to be. I'll admit that's why it took me so long to watch this one. But, as usual, I was a fool. This is just as unique & fascinating as you've been told, & its star gives one of the very best performances of the year. Stop putting it off & watch this one already.


6 | We Go On

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This movie's got the least name recognition on the list, & the premise isn't groundbreaking - a guy who's paralyzed by his fear of death offers a cash reward for proof of the afterlife. Sometimes a movie doesn't need to be groundbreaking to be good. We Go On is just a really solid ghost story, with all the warmth & humanity that's necessary for a movie about death (which is what ghost stories are, really) to be effective.

Listen to our episode on it here.


5 | Thelma

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This was definitely the prettiest horror movie of 2017. Thelma rivals last year's The Eyes of My Mother in gorgeous shots illustrating the turmoil roiling under their heroine's meek exterior. 

Listen to our episode on it here.


4 | mother!

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I have no idea how this movie got a wide release. Seriously, do you know how many people have to sign off a wide release movie? Neither do I, but I'm sure it's a lot of people, & a lot of money. I love a scrappy indie success as much as the next guy, but the coolest story of 2017 is that Darren Aronofsky & Jennifer Lawrence were able to use their fame to trick mass audiences into watching an art film in the theater. 

Listen to our episode on it here.


3 | Get Out

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This was by far my most anticipated movie of 2017. I'd been excited since the first articles started hinting Jordan Peele was interested in making a horror movie. Watching his sketches you just knew he had a great understanding of horror & that he would have a cool approach. I also had a feeling it would be the smartest movie of the year. And look, I was right. Never doubt me!

Listen to our episode on it here.


2 | Raw

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Yeah yeah, it's real gross. But look, going from a teenager to an adult can be a really gross process. And all the biting & the gnawing & the face chewing aside, this is one of the very best coming-of-age movies I've seen. All the gore is just a bonus.

Listen to our episode on it here


1 | The Blackcoat's Daughter

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Here's what it comes down to - I really like Oz Perkins's style. I like the subject matter, I like his approach, the way he paces his movies, who he casts, the music he uses, the books that inspire him, all of it. If I ever made a horror movie, I'd want it to be a lot like The Blackcoat's Daughter. Hopefully he keeps on making them for me. In case he's taking suggestions, hey Oz! If you could make the next one even more Satan-y, that would be cool. Keep up the good work!

You can listen to our episode on The Blackcoat's Daughter here.


 

Honorable Mentions

As discussed on the program, the Twin Peaks return was my favorite thing of 2017. As it was technically not a movie, it was not included. Also, it would be unfair to the other contestants to compare them to my main man Mr. Lynch. Beware the Slenderman was really great, but I wasn't sure how to fit in a documentary on the list. Lastly, two of my favorite movies of 2017, A Ghost Story & Colossal, were sort of kind of almost but not quite horror movies, so I didn't include them,  either. But all these things are real good & Auntie Amy says to check em out! The end.

Top 10 Horror Movies to Watch With Your Kids

You may not know this, but I’m a proud auntie! I just gained a new nephew and now I’ve even got a niece on the way, too! And like all good horror fans, I’m counting down the days until I can introduce them to the wonderful world of spooky, supernatural, creepy, and fantastical cinema. Here’s my own personal top 10 list of childhood favorites that helped shaped me into the loveable weirdo I am today. I can’t wait to one day share these with my little circle of critters.

10. Beetlejuice (1988)

This is one of the earliest “scary” movies I can remember watching as a kid. The only part that legitimately freaked me out was when those weird talon-hand things reach out of the soup bowls in the “Day-O” dinner scene. The effects are macabre, but cartoonish, over the top, and silly. Plus, didn’t we all have little crush on Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse? Good, me neither.

9. The Adventures of Ichabod (1949)

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This one is usually found in a double feature, along with Mr. Toad. It’s a super simple mini-movie from Walt Disney, narrated in a jaunty musical fashion by the famous crooner, Mr. Bing Crosby. I watched this tale of the unfortunate school teacher and his headless horseman foe EVERY Halloween, and it wasn’t truly the fall season until I did.

8. The Wolf Man (1941)

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Ahh...another oldie but a goodie! I feel like I can safely assume this one needs no explanation. I do want my nephews and nieces to know the genre roots, eventually. The Wolf Man was (and still is) my favorite classic monster. Maybe the wolf isn’t as emotionally gripping as Frankenstein’s monster, or as sexual as The Count, but he’s got good hair.

7. Coraline (2009)

Before my nieces & nephews delve into this film for the first time, I hope they start by reading Neil Gaiman’s original book. It’s got the creepy, it’s got the whimsical, and it’s got an adorable, stop-motion animated little girl with blue hair. Coraline is a smart and plucky heroine who travels into a scary alternate reality and HANDLES that shit. The dialogue is funny without having to ever play "dumb" for the family audience.

6. Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1990-2000)

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Obviously, this is a TV show and not a movie - but it's still deserving of a place on my list. Words cannot express how badly I wanted to be in a kick-ass scary story circle like The Midnight Society. That’s probably the dream for all little horror fans. Oh, and what about that one episode with the girl who’s slowly turning into a doll? Fucking frightening, amirite??

5. Stephen King's IT (1990)

I hope that someday my nieces/nephews and I can watch IT, followed by the promising-looking remake. This was the movie that started my lifelong devotion to Stephen King. Telling stories from the POV of the kids is a user-friendly way to get the youth into the genre. Just forward all those therapy bills for the coulrophobia treatments directly to me.

4. The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

Another Disney offering, this little known gem is pure gold, people. Those of us who were raised on this CREEPY af movie form a tight-knit little cult. The basic premise is that an American family moves into a big old house near the woods in England. A young girl, Karen, lived there years before and mysteriously vanished. The “present day” kids begin to unravel the truth about what happened to poor Karen. It’s cheesy fun with visuals that still haunt me to this day.

3. Goosebumps (1995-1998) & R.L. Stine's The Haunting Hour (2010-2014)

Since both of these come from the mastermind of R.L. Stine, I counted them as one. I can only hope the children in my life end up loving R.L. Stein’s macabre little world as much as I still do. There’s some kind of creature, ghoul, living dummy, or evil cuckoo clock tale for everyone’s tastes. One of my favorite things about R.L. Stein’s stories? They don’t usually have happy endings. Toughen up, kids! Welcome to horror!

2. The Witches (1990)

Just because an evil witch turns you into a mouse, doesn’t mean that you should give up on trying to destroy them and save the day. Who didn’t get the pants scared off them as a kid after those ladies peeled off their disguises and unveiled their diabolical plan to rid England of all children?! Angelica Huston is a fierce Goddess in this role. Slay, mama, slay.

1. Return to Oz (1985)

I’m sure everyone on planet Earth is sick of me talking about this movie and how much I adore it. Return to Oz shaped my love of horror and dark fantasy. This “sequel” to the classic story picks up with a much younger Dorothy, after she gets back from her original adventure in Oz. She’s about to have her brain fried in a crude psychiatric facility when she’s suddenly transported right back to Oz. There she meets all sorts of mutants, and a wicked witch named Mombi, who can take off her head and exchange it with one of the thirty extras she keeps in glass and golden cabinets. Did I mention this is a kid’s movie? Cool. One of the best parts about this tale is that it suggests Dorothy may just be insane and not an inter-dimensional traveler after all. I’m a romantic, so I choose to believe the former. I am ecstatic at the idea of one day introducing this twisted, fun (and it is really fun), creepy movie to a new generation.


Honorable mentions:

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Another staple, beloved by many, and also released by Disney. If you haven’t watched and loved this movie, I kindly suggest you stop living under a rock and do so immediately. This one certainly helped fuel my obsession with Halloween, but not necessarily with horror. I’m sure the kids will see this one a million times without any help from me.

The Craft (1996)

I watched this one during my formative years and I mean I watched it a lot. My sister, cousin, and I were OBSESSED with this movie. Now that we’re adults, I’m so happy to see that other people our age binged out on The Craft as well. It was a call-to-arms for misfits who didn’t fit it in at school. I’m getting worried that the film industry doesn’t make stuff like this for spooky teens anymore. C’mon, Hollywood! Prove me wrong and give my nieces & nephews movies like this to grow up on!

~ Sandra (@LilMsMnstr)