Clown

Title: Clown
Released: November 2014
Director: John Watts 
Writers: Christopher D. Ford (screenplay), John Watts (screenplay)
Stars: Peter Stormare, Eli Roth, and Laura Allen
Synopsis: A little boy's birthday party is ruined when the clown his mother hired as party entertainment cancels. His father finds an old, completely suspicious-looking, clown suit and decides to try his hand at entertaining the bday kids. However, there's something weird about this suit; it comes with a complementary curse which renders it impossible to take off. Now the father has to figure out how to get rid of the curse before his new-found hunger for the flesh of children takes over. 


Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. If you suffer from this particular phobia, it'd probably be in your best interest to go ahead and skip this movie. Clowns have never really bothered me but I've always found them to be appropriate villains for horror movies (when done well - a la Pennywise). Clown isn't the greatest clown-themed horror movie that I've seen, by far. I figured, with Eli Roth's name attached to the movie, there would be plenty of blood and guts - turns out, he's only listed as a producer and actor (because, of course...he always is). However, there were more than enough graphic murder scenes to satisfy one's blood-lust.  

We start off with the main character, the dad/clown, scrambling to find an appropriate substitute for the clown who canceled on his son's birthday. How lucky that the house he's working in just happens to have a creepy, locked box containing an even creepier clown suit. If there's one lesson to take away from this movie it's, don't try on strange clown costumes. Especially when they look as if they're made with human skin...

Once the dad gets the suit on and saves the day at the birthday party, he soon realizes the entire costume (including wig and make-up) is stuck on him. Not only does he now have to wear a clown suit everywhere he goes, but the longer he wears it, the more he is taken over by the evil, child-eating demon. At least, I'm pretty sure that's what was behind the whole thing. The entire movie basically consists of the dad/clown running around eating kids, while his wife and a costume salesman try to stop him. 

As you can imagine, what this movie lacks in plot, story-telling, etc., it makes up for in child-eating, gore, and some rather unsettling imagery. Is it a great movie? No, it's not. In fact, I would be hesitant to call it "scary", even. However, it is entertaining enough to sit through at least once. I've definitely sat through worse. The story-line and plot are pretty weak - It's easy to get tired of the "solve the mystery and learn a life lesson" types of movies and this, for some reason, is one of those. Aside from some good effects, the rest of the movie felt sort of generic.
 

Would I recommend it? No, I don't think I would recommend this to most people. Similar to Eat, this is a movie for someone who has the patience for gore over plot & storytelling. 
What would I rate it? 2 stars