Best Horror of 2016: Eddie's Picks

Our man Eddie is a man of few words. However, he did take the time to put together a "best of 2016" list so do yourselves a favor and read through his few, but poignant, words. Unless you're a total jabroni and don't like lists...

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The Boy

Yep, the doll movie. SHUT UP! DON'T JUDGE ME, I LIKED IT! It is a silly movie with a loose plot and a strange twist, but it's all done in an amazing setting.

Don't Breathe

Oh shit! Super turbo blind guy smashes invading teens intent on robbing his home. Really fun watch with a twist that delighted and disgusted me.

Rats

Morgan Spurlock's "documentary" on the ever-growing rat population of our cities genuinely creeped me out. Mainly it was all the parasites shown that infest these little bastards. Bot flies...woof!

Late Night Cable

Friend of the show, Andrew Shearer, released an anthology film this year called "Late Night Cable" and it featured a short done by his pre pre-school daughter. It's just her running around filming things with some spooky music added to it. By far the most original thing I've seen this year and I'm totally a sucker for kiddos.

10 Cloverfield Lane

John fucking Goodman. That is all.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

This one hit my sweet spot by not being too smart or too dumb. It was a fun adventure that felt like a mash-up of CSI, Columbo, and The Goonies - all in a strange (but fun!) way.

ABC's of Death 2.5

What a treat this compilation film was. Incredibly fun shorts full of blood splatter, demons, heavy metal, hookers, big-wheel motorcycle gangs, and Elvis impersonators.

Baskin

Turkey's horror offering, Baskin, didn't disappoint at all. This freak show of a movie was so exciting and over-the-top, I have recommended it to all my strong-stomached horror friends.

The Invitation

The Invitation unnerved me more than any other movie I watched this year. This bottle horror suspense fest shattered my nerves by the end, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

The Witch

This masterpiece comes in at #1 for me. It had it all, from a devil-goat to a naked wild witch party in the woods. This film was crafted with love and it shows.

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Best Horror of 2016: Jamie's Picks

I think most of us can agree that 2016 was a bit of a rough year -- it started out with the death of Alan Rickman & ended with Carrie Fisher's (so brutal)! But along with the generous portions of crap it threw at us, it did manage to give us a generous selection of quality horror. Do I expect you to agree that all of these were the best? No. Do I care if you think some of my choices are stupid and don't belong on any "best of" list? Also no. Without further ado (and in no particular order):

The Invitation

Director: Karyn Kusama | Release Date: April 2016

Karyn Kusama's dark, cult-thriller was easily one of the best horror offerings of 2016. Her direction is wonderfully on point as she uses the interior of the L.A. house, the general stuffiness of a rich-person party, and the complexities of human grief to create an almost oppressively tense thriller. Seriously, this is one of those movies that made me feel almost sick with anxiety until its shocking ending.

10 Cloverfield Lane

Director: Dan Trachtenberg | Release Date: March 2016

As a lifelong fan of Roseanne, I was beyond excited to see John Goodman kill it in his role as a lonely and seriously unstable doomsday-prepper. 10 Cloverfield Lane was everything (and more) that I wanted from Cloverfield - black comedy, aliens, bunkers, and John Goodman dancing to jukebox tunes. You don't need to have seen Cloverfield to understand/enjoy this movie so, if you haven't seen it, get on it.

Green Room

Director: Jeremy Saulnier | Release Date: May 2016

So Green Room seems to be one of those movies that some folks like to claim is "not real horror." Personally, I think the shit that goes down in Green Room is most certainly horror. Patrick Stewart is the perfect badguy, playing the leader of a group of Nazi punk-rockers. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the solid performance from the late Anton Yelchin. This movie was a fun ride right from the get-go and it did not hold back when it came to blood and gore - if nothing else, that's gotta make it "horror."

Stranger Things

Director: Matt Duffer, Ross Duffer, Shawn Levy | Release Date: July 2015

Stranger Things was one of the two best shows to come out in 2016 (the second being Westworld - seriously...it was so gd good). I always get worried when there's a movie or show I'm really looking forward to. I hate being disappointed. That was 100% not the case with Stranger Things. Its nostalgic, Stand By Me feel and throwbacks to 80's horror (not to mention the Dungeons & Dragons references) were everything a girl could want in a Netflix show.

Don't Breathe

Director: Fede Alvarez | Release Date: August 2016

This is the only one on my list that I even slightly considered leaving off. On the whole, I really liked Don't Breathe. This is the second year in a row we got a solid horror film set in Detroit, which is pretty great - even if directors are just taking advantage of the plethora of abandoned houses. The biggest success in Don't Breathe was the serious tension it created as the would-be-thieves snuck around the house, trying not to be detected by the blind homeowner. My biggest issue with the movie was the total story curveball it threw in its third act (particularly the bit involving a turkey baster). That issue aside, Don't Breathe was a tension-filled home invasion success.

Black Mirror - Season 3 (episodes 2 & 3) 

Director: Dan Trachtenberg (ep 2), James Watkins (ep 3) | Release Date: October 2016

Black Mirror was another Netflix show whose release I was anxiously waiting for. I am a HUGE fan of the first two seasons so naturally I had really high hopes, and while I wasn't wild about every episode, numbers two & three had everything I expect from Black Mirror. Episode 2, "Playtest," is about a young guy, who tests out a new virtual reality horror game that involves exploring a haunted house, so of course horror fans should like it. Episode 3, "Shut Up and Dance," was by far my favorite episode of the season. To me, it was up there with my all-time favorites - definitely one of those episodes that sticks with you for a couple of days. Black Mirror has always been great at using relatable, real-life scenarios (typically with a futuristic feel & cool technological twist) to tell a story that sits with you for days.

Southbound

Director: Radio silence, Roxanne Benjamin, David Bruckner, Patrick Horvath | Release Date: February 2016

Southbound already had a leg-up on the competition for me since it's an anthology - I'm just a sucker for them. But this movie had more than just that going for it. It had some seriously great segments that I thought were better than some of the full-length movies this year. There were awesome, floating death-monsters, weird time-slips, and a pretty brutal leg break. I hope 2017 has fewer V/H/S or ABC's of Death sequels and more anthologies like Southbound.

The Eyes of My Mother

Director: Nicolas Pesce | Release Date: December 2016

I didn't know anything about this movie before I watched it, which was probably for the best. I think if I had looked into it at all, I would've assumed I wasn't going to like it - it's not really the type of movie I'm drawn to. All of that being said, I absolutely loved this movie. It was beautifully shot, had solid performances, and managed to make a murderer's story a somewhat sympathetic one. Honestly, even if you don't enjoy black & white movies, I highly recommend giving this a watch.

Demon

Director: Marcin Wrona | Release Date: September 2016

This Polish film is a retelling of the Yiddish tale of the dybbuk, which is a malicious possessing spirit. I had no idea Yiddish lore could be so creepy. The story centers around a man, Peter, who travels to Poland to get married and settle down in his new wife's parents' house. Strange things start happening right away and during his wedding, he starts to feel and act, well...strange. That's all I'll say. I was pretty transfixed throughout the whole movie, to be honest. It's definitely one I'll watch again.

I Am Not A Serial Killer

Director: Billy O'Brien | Release Date: August 2016

I was definitely excited to check this one out - if not only to see Mr. Christopher Lloyd be amazing once again. Based on a popular Young Adult novel, I Am Not a Serial Killer tells the story of a young teen's unhealthy obsession with serial killers (and fear that he may even be becoming one). Maybe it's the fact that his mother is the town mortician and has him assist with embalming. Maybe it's the multiple allusions to his not-so-healthy mental health. Whatever it is, the teen soon finds himself in the midst of a murder mystery when people in his town keep winding up as victims of brutal murders. I feel like folks will either love or hate the ending, which is understandable - it's a bit on the supernatural side. I liked it so I think it's definitely worth a watch!

The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Director: André  Øvredal | Release Date: December 2016

André Øvredal (Trollhunter) finishes the year with this seriously fantastic thriller about a father/son team of coroners, conducting an autopsy on the recently discovered corpse of a girl. I don't want to give too much info away about this one (our next podcast episode will be on it) - I'd rather just tell you to check it out. I loved it. I'm also happy that this was the last horror movie I saw in 2016 - made it end on a pretty high note.

The Shallows

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra | Release Date: June 2016

It's been far too long since a decent shark-related thriller has been released in theaters. So when The Shallows was announced, I was pretty much already a fan. I'm a long-time sucker for shark movies and when they're actually good, that's even better. The Shallows could easily have been a cheesy, one-note crapfest. Instead, it was a solid thriller that was beautifully shot and well acted (Blake Lively carried it entirely on her own). If you're at all a fan of shark flicks, you would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't check this one out.

The VVitch

Director: Robert Eggers | Release Date: February 2016

One name: Black Phillip. The true star of 2016. In all seriousness, though, I. Love. This. Movie. My theatrical viewing of it was slightly marred when Peter Cetera's voice drifted in from the next theater (showing Deadpool - also great). However, after a second viewing at home, I was onboard with everything Robert Eggers was doing. The family's isolation, along with their religious paranoia, work to create a seriously unnerving movie. The Witch is the only movie I can confidently assign a rating to - #1 obvs.

There they are. My favorites. If you have some faves that didn't make my list, leave them in the comments.

I will give honorable mention to: ABC's of Death 2.5, Under the Shadow, and Blair Witch.

10 More Great Episodes of Lore

I love anthologies and I love the Lore podcast. So when it was announced that Amazon paired up with Lore with the plan of creating an anthology TV series centered around stories covered on the podcast, I was already 100% on board. Our wonderful pal and contributor, Becky, already put together a list of 10 Great Episodes of Lore and folks have expressed their appreciation at getting some quick suggestions of which episodes to check out first. However, since Lore is an ongoing podcast and there have been many new episodes since Becky’s list (her list covered eps 1-26), I’ve decided to follow-up with some more great episodes. I tried to only pull from episodes 27 on but I decided to also include episode 21 because I just really liked it.

Episode 21: Adrift

"Since the dawn of time, humans have pushed themselves to explore. When that adventure took to the seas, however, it was an invitation for tragedy. The ocean, you see, takes much from us. And sometimes it gives it back."

Ghostships are the subject of countless scary stories, local legends, horror movies, etc. It’s a rather unsettling notion; hundreds of travelers and workers aboard a ship that mysteriously disappears out on the ocean. Sure it’s easy to blame it on a shipwreck, but who really knows? Anything could happen out there -- the ocean is a terrifying place. Not only do those at sea need to worry about killer sharks, sudden storms, and 80-foot giant squids (those, maybe not so much…), but they also need to worry about mysteriously disappearing and then haunting the coast for eternity. That’s the subject of this aptly named episode -- and it’s main focus is the story and the tragic fate of the SS Valencia.

Episode 27: On the Farm

"Safety is a basic human need, and we build a lot of our life around achieving it. This is nothing new, really; humans have always sought safety in a dangerous world. And because of that, it’s those moments when safety is shattered that haunt us the most."

For all you lovers of true crime (my kindred spirits), this episode should definitely appeal to you. It may make you a little uneasy the next time you’re alone in your home -- which is always if you’re a loner like myself. It talks about the tragic case of the Hinterkaifeck murders. Yes, I know that’s a mouthful. This story takes place on the Hinterkaifeck farm, near Munich, Germany, and it ends with the mysterious and gruesome death of the Gruber family. There was no apparent motive for this murder -- money was found in obvious locations in the house meaning robbery was out of the question -- and there were all sorts of strange happenings around the farm. By no means the strangest thing, but quite possibly the most horrible, is that the murderer chose a mattock for his/her weapon. Probably my fault for listening to this by myself in my empty house, but this episode gave me some serious creeps.

Episode 28: Making a mark

"Stories leave a mark on us. They can act like scars or decoration, always there, always reminding us of things that happened. But in some cases, those stories leave behind literal, physical marks. Or do they?"

This episode focuses on stories that may or may not have left actual, physical marks on the world and how even if the physical mark has actually nothing to do with the story, as long as people believe it does, the story is given life and will continue to be told. This is explored by looking at only a few of the stories surrounding the area of Roanoke, NC. The history of Roanoke and the early settlers who went missing, is one of America’s oldest mysteries. But there are more tales and mysteries surrounding this area and they aren’t all involving the lost colony. Mahnke talks about Blackbeard and the pirates who roamed the coast, as well as the story of the Cora Tree, named after Cora the witch. I would love to hear a follow-up to this episode that explores other areas of the world that are teeming with local legends.

Episode 31: Lost and Found

"We spend every waking moment surrounded by people. People who talk to us, who interact with us, and who are very much alive and breathing. Which is why it’s that much more shocking when we stumble upon those who aren’t. And it’s more common than you’d think."

I knew a couple kids in high school who found a dead body while in the woods behind one of their houses. I always tried to imagine what that would be like; you’re playing nerf guns or whatever with your friend when you notice a human skeleton, half-buried in the leaves and brush. It’s a crazy thought but it happens far more often than you’d imagine. This episode discusses multiple instances of people crossing paths with human remains and the eventual investigations that take place to determine the identity of the remains, as well as learning the story behind the person's death. It’s an episode that will either make you less likely to go playing around in the woods, for fear of finding a dead body, or more likely to go playing around in the woods due to the anticipation of possibly finding a dead body.

Episode 34: All the Lovely Ladies

"Folklore has often developed as a response to real-world events, but the opposite has also been true. History has, upon occasion, unintentionally confirmed ancient tales. And nowhere is this more evident, or more bloody, than in the tale of one particular 16th-Century countess."

I have always been fascinated by the story of Elizabeth Bathory. How can one not be intrigued by the story of a young, Hungarian Countess, who has been labeled by the Guinness Book of World Records as the “most prolific female murderer”? Elizabeth Bathory is a perfect example of how family, nobility, and money aren’t enough to get away with murder. Sure, she wasn’t put to death in the same way her accomplices were, but I’d say that being imprisoned in solitary confinement for the rest of her life (which, ended up being only five more years) was not something that typically happened to Countesses. Honestly, I wish this episode was longer as I would’ve welcomed a lot more history on the dear Countess Bathory.

Episode 37: Passing Notes

"For as crowded as this world has become, most people feel isolated and alone. Perhaps that’s why so many of us believe that there’s another world, just beyond the veil. But when that veil is tampered with and pulled aside, it’s hard to say what might emerge."

“Some doors are closed for a reason.” We live in a day and age where Spiritualism and mediums are, for the most part, completely “normal” and somewhat accepted concepts. However, in the mid-1800’s, Kate and Margaret Fox (the Fox sisters) emerged on the scene as gifted mediums, with an impressive ability to speak to the other side via a series of raps and clicks. The Fox sisters became famous and conducted seances for hundreds of people (including many notable figures). The sisters continued their scheming for years until a family relative, on their deathbed, finally confessed to the fraud. In addition to the Fox sisters, Mahnke talks about the infamous Phelps mansion in Stratford, CN. and the events that took place, which would eventually go on to inspire all those “haunting in Connecticut” movies and shows. This episode is more interesting than the majority of those “ghost hunting” shows you see on TV.

Episode 38: The Mountain

"Humans have always wandered off into unexplored territory. It’s a key part of our identity to leave safety behind in pursuit of adventure. Those journeys, though, don’t always end in success. In fact, sometimes they end in horrible tragedy."

If you are unfamiliar with the Dyatlov Pass story, you should definitely follow the link and read up on it. It’s one of those unsolved mysteries that provides the perfect backdrop for horror stories. For you lovers of horror, you may have already seen the movie Devil’s Pass, which is loosely based on the Dyatlov Pass incident. Regardless, it’s a crazy story about a group of explorers who go missing in Russia. Clearly there’s much more to the story than just “explorers went missing,” but you’ll have to find all the details out on your own.

Episode 40: Everything Floats

"The older the city, the more stories there seem to be. Some places are home to tragedy, while others have played host to disaster or war. Few cities have it all, though, and judging by the pain those stories often reveal, that might be a good thing."

With a title like “Everything Floats,” I sort of expected an episode about boats or deaths at sea. T’was not the case, however. This episode explores the history and mystery behind the city known as “The Big Easy” and one of its most infamous residents, Marie Laveau. If you’re unfamiliar with Mrs. Laveau, it’s important to note that she was a pretty well-regarded VooDoo Priestess -- she was even allowed to “work” out of the St. Louis Cathedral, which is the oldest cathedral in the United States. In addition to the story of Laveau, this episode also talks about Julie White (aka Julia Brown) and some of the bizarre stories surrounding the Manchec Swamp. It seems, in this case, the episode’s title of “Everything Floats” refers to the various New Orleans ghosts as well as the unfortunate occurrence of dead bodies floating to the surface of the Manchec Swamp.

Episode 41: Hole in the Wall

"We’ve been taught since childhood to be honest, because our actions have consequences and our words can hurt people. But the events that took place in a Scottish village over three hundred years ago took that lesson to a darker level."

Mahnke starts this episode by briefly discussing the Cardiff Giant and the idea of “counterfeit folklore.” As long as there has been a thirst for folklore, there have been people looking to take advantage of that thirst. The main bulk of this episode surrounds the history of witch trials in Scotland and, more specifically, how the testimony of an 11-year-old girl named Christian Shaw lead to the deaths of seven supposed witches in the town of Paisley. The history of the Salem witch trials is fairly well known by those with an interest in America’s sordid history. However, the history of Scotland’s persecution of witches and the events which took place in the Bargarran witch trials of 1697, is arguably not as well known. History continues to show us how terrified people can be of the unknown and unexplainable - especially if they decide it is somehow a threat to their faith.

Episode 44: From Within

"Civilization was transformed the moment we discovered it. We’ve built it into our religions and use it to advance our technology. Whether we take it for granted or not, there’s a darker side to this tool, and if we’re not careful, we might get burned."

Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC). This is a concept that most people have heard of. I remember first reading about it when I was pretty young and having a rather unnatural fear that it would actually happen (sort of like the John Mulaney joke re quicksand not being as big of an issue as he imagined it would be). However, maybe my fears were justified. This episode discusses multiple instances of mysterious fires, seemingly occurring from within the human body, and how modern science and forensics are still unable to provide a true scientific explanation for these bizarre cases. How is science supposed to explain a 3000° fire that doesn’t seem to have an accelerant and doesn’t destroy everything around it (mainly just the human body -- and not even all of it!)?

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So that’s my list! For those who haven’t listened to Lore, I hope reading about these episodes will encourage you to check it out. For those of you who have listened to Lore and love it like I do, which episodes would you count among your favorites?

~ Jamie (@jamiestamp)