Horror movie reviews artfully conducted by four classy broads and one token dude.

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240 | Rare Exports

Director: Jalmari Helander

Writers: Jalmari Helander, Juuso Helander

Stars: Jorma Tommila, Peeter Jakobi, Onni Tommila

Synopsis: On the border of Finland and Russia, 486 meters deep within the Korvatunturi mountains, lies a long-buried secret of Christmas. After a group of excavators unearth this secret, the nearby village learns that some secrets should remain buried. With so few Christmas-themed horror movies to choose from, Rare Exports is a wonderful holiday treat!

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

$17.99

Starring Jorma Tommila, Peeter Jakobi, Onni Tommila

Buy on Amazon

We're back next time with our review of Eli Roth's Thanksgiving

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97 | A Quiet Place

Writers: Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, & John Krasinski

Director: John Krasinski

Synopsis: Real life husband & wife John Krasinski & Emily Blunt play parents struggling to protect their children in a post apocalyptic world. When we meet them they are walking barefoot through a deserted town in search of supplies. We learn quickly that the world they live in is also inhabited by monsters who attack solely based on sound. Their daughter is hearing impaired, so the family has a unique advantage over most - they can communicate with sign language. Even so, tragedy strikes in the opening sequence, & we jump forward in time to see how the family is coping with the loss. Will the family survive despite the turmoil that alienates them from each other?

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Next time we'll be reviewing My Friend Dahmer, the biopic based on Derf Backderf's graphic novel of the same name. Check it out on demand & meet us back here in two weeks to discuss.

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96 | The Endless

Writer: Justin Benson

Directors: Justin Benson & Aaron Moorhead

Synopsis: Justin & Aaron are brothers who escaped a UFO death cult 10 years ago. When we meet them they’re scraping by in LA as house cleaners & on the verge of having their shared car repossessed. Aaron, the younger of the two, remembers the cult fondly as a place where they enjoyed the outdoors & ate fresh food instead of the ramen they’re stuck living on now. Justin sees his younger brother as his responsibility & insists that he’s forgetting about the weirder aspects of the place. When they are sent a mysterious videotape from Camp Arcadia, Aaron convinces Justin that they should return there for the sake of closure. What they find seems to be an idyllic commune full of people having bonfires, making craft beer & just generally living their best lives. Aaron is enamored, but Justin is skeptical. Just what do they mean by the Ascension? And where are those pictures & videotapes coming from?

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Next up, we weigh in on the critically adored box office smash A Quiet Place. So visit your local multiplex (being careful to avoid loud snacks) & join us back here in two weeks to discuss.

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95 | Marrowbone

Director/Writer: Sergio G. Sanchez

Synopsis: A family flees from their criminal father in England to America in the 1960s, & attempt to hide away in a secluded country house. When their mother dies, the eldest son, Jack, is determined to keep the family together at all costs. With the help of his love interest, Allie (Anya Taylor-Joy), Jack struggles to keep the secret of Marrowbone from getting out.

Thanks to all of our listeners/followers who voted!

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Next up is a movie we've been anxiously waiting for...The Endless. Brought to you by one of our favorite movie duos, Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead (Spring, Resolution). The Endless will get a theatrical release on April 6, 2018 - so if it's playing at a theater near you, we highly recommend checking it out before you tune in for our review.

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94 | Haunters: The Art of the Scare

Director/Writer: Jon Schnitzer

Synopsis: Part of the “hobby” docs sub-genre, like King of Kong, this documentary gives us an introduction into the history of haunted attractions, some explanations as to why people have always been drawn to attractions like these, & finally & most compellingly, it shows us some of people responsible for creating the scares. We meet a few lucky haunters who have been able to parlay their passion into a successful career, but by & large we follow the ones who still have day jobs, & who are balancing their hobby with the other aspects of their lives with varying degrees of success.

Haunters official website

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Our next movie is going to be a listener-pick movie, but first, we need you to help us out by voting on which one you'd like us to review.

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93 | The Ritual

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Director: David Bruckner

Writers: Joe Barton & Adam Nevill (novel)

Synopsis: Following a terrible tragedy, four friends decide to continue their group’s planned hiking trip through the virtually untouched wilderness of Sweden. However, when weather and injury force them to take a shortcut through the woods, the group soon realizes they’re being hunted by a sinister presence.

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Do you enjoy haunted houses/forests? Would you enjoy them as much if the workers trapped you inside coffins? Shoved vomit in your face? If this sounds bananas to you, join the club. Next time you hear from us, we'll be reviewing Haunters: The Art Of The Scare, which covers this exact topic. Haunters is currently streaming on Netflix US.

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92 | Mom and Dad

Writer/Director: Brian Taylor

Synopsis: The Ryans are a typical suburban upper middle-class family, complete with a mouthy teen girl, rambunctious little boy, a bored, ignored mom, and a dad who is mid-life crisis-ing real hard (and is also Nicolas Cage). One day, a mysterious signal begins to compel any parents exposed to it to murder their offspring, and their typical family struggles become a lot bloodier.

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Up next - David Bruckner's segments have been the highlight of The Signal, V/H/S & The ABCs of Death. Now we get to see how he handles a feature film. Join us in two week's time for a review of The Ritual, now streaming on Netflix.

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91 | Super Dark Times

Director: Kevin Phillips
Writers: Ben Collins & Luke Piotrowski

Synopsis: After a tragic accident, a group of high school-aged friends are forced to deal with the tragedy in their own ways. Adolescence is a gross and scary time on its own. But when you add in a horrible accident combined with impulsive, hormone-fueled teenage brains, you get something far scarier.

Intro/Outro music courtesy Peter Perfect. Check him out on Instagram | Soundcloud

Next up, we'll be watching Mom and Dad, staring America's sweetheart, Nic Cage. This movie seems to essentially be a reverse Cooties and we are very much on board for it. Here's hoping Mr. Cage doesn't hold back with the crazy.

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90 | Insidious 4: The Last Key

Director: Adam Robitel
Writers: Leigh Whannell

Synopsis: Another prequel(!) taking place before the events of the first Insidious movie. Elise (Lin Shaye) is haunted by the events of her childhood, growing up in a haunted house on the grounds of a prison. Not the greatest place to be if you’re psychic. She is tricked into opening a locked door in the basement, releasing a demon that destroys her family.

Many years later, Elise is contacted by the new owner of her childhood home to get rid of the dark presence there. Accompanied by her loyal sidekicks, she heads home to confront the demon she released.

Our next movie made Jamie's top ten of 2017 list & is now on US Netflix. Ch-ch-check it out & meet us back here in a couple weeks to discuss.